For Mother's Day: Honoring Your Mother

Note: The following is a basic teaching outline for a Mother's Day message. I hope the blog's readers find it helpful.

Perhaps one of the single greatest examples of a man's honoring of his mother can be found in the account of Solomon honoring his mother:

^NKJ 1 Kings 2:19 “Bathsheba therefore went to King Solomon, to speak to him for Adonijah. And the king rose up to meet her and bowed down to her, and sat down on his throne and had a throne set for the king's mother; so she sat at his right hand.

The Fifth Commandment's admonition to each one of us is, “Honor your father and your mother” (Exodus 20:12a, italics mine), and King Solomon obviously honored his mother a great deal! Yet bowing before her and seating her on a throne would have meant little or nothing if he did not honor her the rest time and in other ways. But in what other ways did he honor his mother? Exactly how did he honor her the rest of the time? We don't have to wonder too much about this, since the Holy Spirit who gave Him such great wisdom also inspired him to write some of it down. For this reason, I want us to take a look this morning at the Proverbs of Solomon to better learn from our departed brother – one of the two wisest men who ever lived – Jesus was the wisest! – what it means to honor our mothers.

^NKJ Proverbs 1:7-9 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction. ⁸ My son, hear the instruction of your father, and do not forsake the law of your mother; ⁹ For they will be a graceful ornament on your head, and chains about your neck.

The first thing to notice about Solomon's statement in verse 8 is that it includes the mother alongside to father as the teacher of godly wisdom. Such a prominent place for the role of the mother – or women in general – was unique in ancient times.

In his commentary on Proverbs, Derek Kidner speaks of “the fully personal bond taken to exist between husband and wife. The two share the children's training and are assumed to speak with one voice … This is a far cry from the not uncommon ancient idea of a wife as chattel and childbearer but no companion” (TOTC, Vol. 15, p.49-50).

Or as David Hubbard writes:

That both parents are mentioned is a tribute to the prominent role of Israel's mothers. We find no similar references to mother as teacher in Babylonian or Egyptian wisdom literature. (The Communicator's Commentary, Vol. 15A, p.49)

But the mother is clearly referred to in this passage as a teacher. For, when Solomon says, “do not forsake the law of your mother,” it is in parallel with the father's “instruction,” and in the context he must mean by the phrase law of your mother the law of God as taught by your mother. Solomon assumes that your mother has learned the wisdom that comes from the fear of the LORD which leads her to submit to the instruction of His Word. It is this same fear and instruction that she then passes on to her child. In this context, then, to honor your mother means to place great value on the things of God that she seeks to share with you and to listen to what she says. It means to recognize her as God's mouthpiece in your life.

Now, not all of us have mothers who know the Lord, but that doesn't mean we cannot seek to honor them for whatever good things they may have to tell us. Even if we may have to look closely to find such things, we should seek them out and then honor our mothers for having the wisdom to share them with us. And we should thank them for whatever good things they may have taught us. And even more importantly, we should thank God for anything good that has come from our mothers.

^NKJ Proverbs 4:3-4 When I was my father's son, tender and the only one in the sight of my mother ⁴ He also taught me, and said to me: "Let your heart retain my words; Keep my commands, and live.

Solomon refers to himself in two ways here. First, he remembers having been tender when he was little. The Hebrew word is רַךְ [raḵ], which refers to the “quality of being soft, weak, [or] tender” (Holladay #7894, BibleWorks). So apparently Solomon was pretty frail as a boy, or at least he is referring to a time in his childhood – probably his early childhood – when he was particularly weak. But his memory of that time is a good memory, because as far back as he can remember his father and mother were teaching him the way of life. And he remembers especially the way his mother treated him.

This leads to the second way in which Solomon refers to himself here, and it is striking. Notice how he says that he was the only one in the sight of his mother, who we know was Bathsheba. But we also know that Bathsheba would have had at least some love and high regard for David, Solomon's father. And we also know that David and Bathsheba had three other sons, as 1 Chronicles tells us:

^NKJ 1 Chronicles 3:5 And these were born to him [David] in Jerusalem: Shimea, Shobab, Nathan, and Solomon -- four by Bathshua [Bathsheba, 2 Sam. 11:3] the daughter of Ammiel [Eliam, 2 Sam. 11:3].

So how is it that, when reflecting back on the earliest days of his childhood that he can remember, Solomon says that he was the only one in the sight of his mother? Well, perhaps he was treated in a special way because of his frailty, and he remembers with fondness the special care his mother gave him. Or perhaps she just had a way of always making him feel special. Whatever the precise meaning he has in mind, one thing is certain: Solomon never forgot how special he was in the eyes of his mother. And he never forgot how caring she had been to him. No wonder he treated her with such honor later when he became the king. He knew that he owed a great deal to her!

This is why celebrating Mother's day is such a good idea. It hopefully gives us a chance to think back on even the earliest memories we have of our mothers, to remember them with fondness and to appreciate anew the role they have played in our lives.

^NKJ Proverbs 6:20-22 My son, keep your father's command, and do not forsake the law of your mother. ²¹ Bind them continually upon your heart; tie them around your neck. ²² When you roam, they will lead you; when you sleep, they will keep you; and when you awake, they will speak with you.

Here again we have an admonition not to forsake “the law of your mother.” But the idea here is emphasized by the reference to her godly teaching as something to be continually bound in your heart and tied, as it were, around your neck. This means that we should keep constantly in mind the things that our mothers have taught us. If we do this, we are told, then wherever we go and whatever we do, our mother's teaching will guide us.

You might say, based on this verse, that in a sense every day ought to be a Mother's Day! Is there any better way to honor your mother?

^NKJ Proverbs 10:1 The Proverbs of Solomon: A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son is the grief of his mother.

It is not hard to see what we can learn from this proverb about honoring ours mothers. All we have to do is avoid the kind of foolishness that will cause them grief.

But it is important to remember that terms like “wise” and “foolish” are primarily moral rather than intellectual terms. Thus, a wise person is a person who has spiritual understanding, and a foolish person is one who is spiritually daft. What Solomon has in mind here is that we should avoid bringing grief to our mothers by living in ungodly ways and making bad moral decisions.

Of course, he again assumes that one has a godly mother who will care about such things in the first place. And not all of us have been blessed with such a godly mother. But that doesn't mean we can't find a way to apply this proverb. For example, my mother did not know the Lord when I was growing up, and I still don't know that she is a believer. But I have often found comfort in a teaching of Jesus, in which He promises that He will give His disciples other people in the Church to replace their lost parents:

^NKJ Mark 10:28-30 Then Peter began to say to Him, “See, we have left all and followed You.” ²⁹ So Jesus answered and said, “Assuredly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or lands, for My sake and the gospel's, ³⁰ who shall not receive a hundredfold now in this time -- houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions -- and in the age to come, eternal life.”

I can testify that Jesus has indeed given me a number of women over the years who have been like spiritual mothers to me. So, for example, I might want to avoid behaving in any way that I know would bring grief to Eunice Campbell, an older woman who – along with her husband Irvin – had a formative influence on me when I was a young Christian. Or, for a more recent example, I can tell you that I would never want to exhibit the king of foolishness that would grieve Lena Drye or Diane Luhn [the wives of my fellow elders, George Drye and Dennis Luhn].

You see, even though some of us do not have a godly mother to honor in this way, God has still given us spiritual mothers to honor. But, as I pointed out earlier, we can still also try to honor our own biological mothers in this way to the degree that they wish truly good things and honorable things for us.

^NKJ Proverbs 15:20 A wise son makes a father glad, but a foolish man despises his mother.

This proverb is much like the last one, but it states things in a bit stronger way. For here Solomon says that a foolish son that grieves his mother acts as though he hates her! To reject her godly counsel and to live in a way that brings her continual grief is hateful and does not honor her! Conversely, then, to follow the wisdom she seeks to instill from God's Word is to show her love and to honor her as God desires.

I wonder how many men, women, and children claim to love their mothers but act as though they really hate them because they constantly reject what they have been taught by them. Young people and children, don't be deceived by such hypocrisy. To continually disobey your mother is to act as though you despise her. If you want to honor her as God tells you to, then you will want to obey her.

Remember that the Apostle Paul stresses that obedience is the primary thing that God had in mind when He gave the 5^th Commandment:

^NKJ Ephesians 6:1-2 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ² “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise ….

One of the chief ways we honor our mothers is by obeying what they have taught us. And this means that we will live by what they have taught us for the rest of our lives, even when we are no longer living with them under their direct authority.

^NKJ Proverbs 19:26 He who mistreats his father and chases away his mother is a son who causes shame and brings reproach.

David Hubbard sums up this proverb nicely when he writes:

“Mistreats” suggests violence, even destruction. “Chases way,” literally “causes to flee,” pictures a son old enough and strong enough to commandeer the parents' household and physically eject them. The New Testament son took his share and played the fool by abandoning his family and squandering his resources (Luke 15). This Old Testament fool is much more to be censured; he has confiscated his parents holdings and cruelly sent them packing. Their inward pain is amplified by horrible “shame” and “reproach” (see 27:11), since the whole affair has been placarded in their community. (The Communicator's Commentary, Vol. 15A, p.258)

Granted, this is an extreme case of dishonoring one's mother, although such things do still happen. But there are other more subtle ways in which one's mother can be chased away.

As John Gill observes, it may just involve that fact that, through his foolish and sinful behavior, the son “causeth her to avoid and abhor his presence and society” (Exposition of the Whole Bible, e-Sword).

So, at the very least, we can each honor our mother by being the kind of person she really wants to be around.

^NKJ Proverbs 20:20 Whoever curses his father or his mother, his lamp will be put out in deep darkness.

Today most people think of cursing as simply saying a bad word and thus may think that we should avoid swearing at our parents. Well, I definitely agree that we should avoid such disrespectful behavior. But this isn't really what the Old Testament idea of cursing involved. The concept has to be understood within the Old Testament context of covenant blessings and curses.

David Hubbard is again helpful and quite correct when he asserts that, “'Cursing' implies the wish and the threat that all blessings be cut off, all mercy withdrawn, and all harm invoked upon them [the parents]” (The Communicator's Commentary, Vol. 15A, p.258).

No matter what his or her mother may have done, a Christian should never be so hateful as to wish her cut off from God! And the person who desires such a thing can be assured that it is he himself who will be judged by God, for this is what it means when the text says that “his lamp will be put out in deep darkness.” It means that his own dark demise will one day come upon him.

But, conversely, to honor you mother would mean to wish wish her every blessing from God. And this is one of the very best things we can do to honor our mothers. It will involve telling them that we wish God's best for them, as well as praying that he will indeed bless them in every way.

^NKJ Proverbs 23:22 Listen to your father who begot you, and do not despise your mother when she is old.

This proverb is easy enough to understand. The older your mother gets, the harder it may become to be around her, the more difficult it may become to take care of her, and the easier it may become to hate having her around. It will be easy to start thinking of her as hopelessly out of touch with the times and as having nothing good left to say. But, Solomon reminds us, to start to think this way is, in fact, hateful.

Conversely, to take an interest in what she has to say, to genuinely care about her point of view, is a good way to honor her.

^NKJ Proverbs 23:24-25 The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, and he who begets a wise child will delight in him. Let your father and your mother be glad, and let her who bore you rejoice.

This repeats some of the same concerns as a few of the proverbs we have already considered. If you want to honor your mother, then seek to make her life a joy because of the way you are living a wise and righteous life. This is one of the greatest joys a godly mother will ever receive from her children.

^NKJ Proverbs 28:24 Whoever robs his father or his mother, and says, “It is no transgression,” the same is companion to a destroyer.

This proverb refers to the person who wastes his parents money and goods and thinks it is no problem.

As David Hubbard observes:

The person who “robs” (or defrauds, 22:22) his parents may claim “'It is no transgression'” (Heb. Pesha means “insubordination,” almost “mutiny”) by arguing that the money or the property will come to him anyway at the death of the “mother” or “father.” The wise rightly branded the argument as specious and pinpointed the viciously cruel conduct of one who broke faith with those who gave him life and burdened their later years with regrets about their son's behavior and anxiety about their means of sustenance. (The Communicator's Commentary, Vol. 15A, p.258)

Jesus addressed this same attitude and behavior in His confrontation with the Pharisees and scribes:

^NKJ Mark 7:9-13 He said to them, “All too well you reject the commandment of God, that you may keep your tradition. ¹⁰ For Moses said, 'Honor your father and your mother'; and, 'He who curses father or mother, let him be put to death.' ¹¹ But you say, 'If a man says to his father or mother, “Whatever profit you might have received from me is Corban ”' -- (that is, a gift to God), ¹² then you no longer let him do anything for his father or his mother, ¹³ making the word of God of no effect through your tradition which you have handed down. And many such things you do.”

So, if you want to honor your mother, then take care of her when she gets older and can no longer look after herself. And don't make excuses – however spiritual they may sound – for avoiding this responsibility.

^NKJ Proverbs 29:15 The rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.

This proverb points out how good discipline is for a child. And it warns that a mother who doesn't want to discipline her child will not instill the wisdom she desires him or her to have. And – as a general rule – the child will just become a disappointment in the future.

But the converse is also true, namely that a well disciplined child will – as a general rule – be a source of pride to his mother rather than shame. And this means that, if you want to honor your mothers, children, you will appreciate the discipline she administers to you, whether by way of the rod (spanking) or rebuke. I know it may sound crazy to you now, but it is God's will for you!

Well, I hope I have given you all – no matter how young or old – plenty of food for thought today. I hope I have helped you to see from the wisdom of Solomon how you may better honor you mother on Mother's day … and every day. But remember that in doing so, it is really God that you seek to honor, for it is He himself who has commanded you, “Honor your father and your mother” (Exodus 20:12a, itlaics mine).

Is Age Segregated Sunday School Biblical? - Part 1

How to Determine Whether or Not a Practice is Biblical

Today I am beginning a three part series that seeks to answer the question, “Is age segregated Sunday school Biblical?” But in order to answer the question, it seems to me that we must begin by establishing what we mean when we ask it. We must think about what we will accept as Biblical in the first place and why we will accept it as such. In my opinion, much of the confusion in discussions about the subject of age segregated education in the local churches starts with conflicting assumptions about this very issue.

For example, I have heard many people from within the Family Integrated ChurchMovement (FICM) adamantly assert that age segregated Sunday school is most definitely not Biblical, but I don't think they mean what I mean when I speak about whether or not something is Biblical. For the most part they seem to mean that the practice of age segregated education of our children is not Biblical because it is not specifically prescribed in the Bible. That is, they often appear to operate with the assumption that the local church needs a specific command in Scripture in order to justify a ministry practice as Biblical. But I do not think that we should restrict our assessment of whether or not a practice is Biblical to such a narrow parameter, even if it is a very important parameter. So, in this post I would like to begin to set forth a more complete set of parameters under four main headings:

1. Biblical Prescriptions

To begin, I certainly agree that a practice should be accepted as Biblical if we have a Biblical prescription to do it – that is, if we have positive command to do it. Examples of such prescriptions would be the practice of baptizing believers (Matt. 28:19) and the observance of the Lord's Supper (1 Cor. 11:23-26). We know these practices are Biblical because the Bible clearly teaches that we must do them. This is not the case, however, with the practice of age segregated instruction of our children on Sunday mornings, as opponents of the practice are quite fond of pointing out. But, as I have already indicated, I do not think the discussion should end here.

2. Biblical Prohibitions

Just as we know with certainty that a ministry practice is Biblical if we have a positive command in the Bible to do it, we know just as certainly that a ministry practice is not Biblical if we have a prohibition in the Bible against it. One example of such a prohibition would be women teaching or having authority over men in the churches. The Apostle Paul clearly says, “I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man, but to be in silence” (1 Tim. 2:12). Yet we have no such prohibition against age segregated instruction of children. In fact, if we are seeking either a prescription or a prohibition for the practice, we find that the Bible is silent on the matter.

3. Biblical Precedents

But there is yet another way in which we can discern whether or not a ministry practice is Biblical, for we can look to see if a practice has a Biblical precedent. One example of such a precedent would be the practice of worshiping on Sunday (Acts 20:7; 1 Cor. 16:1-2). Another example of such a precedent would be the inclusion of children in the worship gatherings of the church. It would appear obvious, for instance, that the apostle Paul assumed that children would be present with their parents at church gatherings when he included instructions for them in at least two of his epistles (Eph. 6:1-3; Col. 3:20), epistles which he expected to be publicly read when the church gathered for worship (Col. 4:16). So, we have a clear precedent for age integrated instruction of children, but in the case of age segregated instruction of children we find no such clear precedent in the Bible.

4. Biblical Principles

However, we still haven't exhausted our means of ascertaining whether or not a practice may be considered to be Biblical, for we haven't yet addressed the matter of whether or not a practice is in keeping with Biblical principles. Yet it is through the application of Biblical principles that we ascertain whether or not many practices are to be accepted as Biblical or not. Indeed, the Church throughout her history has recognized that much of what we do is informed not by clear Biblical prescriptions, prohibitions, or precedents, but rather by the thoughtful application of Biblical principles. Consider what the Baptist Confession of 1689 says in this regard:

The whole counsel of God concerning all things necessary for His own glory, man's salvation, faith and life, is either expressly set down or necessarily contained in the Holy Scripture, to which nothing is to be added at any time, either by new revelation of the Spirit, or by the traditions of men.

Nevertheless, we acknowledge the inward illumination of the Spirit of God to be necessary for the saving understanding of such things as are revealed in the Word.

There are some circumstances concerning the worship of God and church government which are common to human actions and societies, which are to be ordered by the light of nature and Christian prudence, according to the general rules of the Word which are always to be observed. (Chapter 1.6, italics mine)

Notice that the Confession first of all refers to those things which are essential and which are either expressly taught in Scripture or may be derived therefrom by way of good and necessary inference (the meaning of “necessarily contained”). Yet it also recognizes that not all matters faced by the Church are so directly addressed. Thus, when we are dealing with an issue or practice for which we have no explicit teaching in Scripture, the Confession recognizes that we are to rely on our wisdom and experience as informed by “the general rules of the Word,” which in this context must refer to the application of the general teaching or principles of the Word.

One example of such an issue or practice that is not addressed directly in Scripture would be the type of music used in corporate worship in the churches. The Bible simply doesn't indicate a particular style of music or song writing that should be utilized by Christians when they meet to worship. But that doesn't mean that we must be silent about the matter, does it? Absolutely not! For there are a number of principles that we may employ in addressing the issue. We will want to see what the Bible says about God, about how God works in His people through the Word, about the role of the Word in worship, about the nature of the Church as the body of Christ, about attitudes we should display in worship and how music might affect these, about the unity we should seek as we worship God together, etc. So, for example, if we believe that we should seek to worship God in a unified way and with one voice (as Jesus and His disciples apparently did, Matt. 26:30), we will want to choose a style of music that is written to better enable and enhance congregational singing rather than a style of music that is written to be performed for an audience.

At any rate, I think we should all be able to agree that there are any number of ministry practices that may not be directly addressed in Scripture in terms of a prescription, a prohibition, or a precedent, but for which we may find many principles that apply. And insofar as we seek to faithfully, wisely, and prayerfully apply these principles, we may indeed say that our practice is Biblical.

It is precisely here, it seems to me, where we can say that age segregated instruction of children by the Church is indeed a Biblical concept, since I think that this practice it is in keeping with the wise application of Biblical principles. In setting forth these principles, perhaps it would be best to begin with the Biblical teaching about the nature of the Church as a spiritual family and how this relates to the Biblical teaching about the biological family. This I will attempt to do in the next post in this series, followed by a third post that will focus more specifically on Scriptural teaching about the nature of physical, mental, and spiritual maturation and even the idea of age segregated instruction itself.

I will just say in conclusion that it was not my intent in this post to be exhaustive in delineating criteria for how to determine whether or not a particular ministry practice is Biblical. My intention was merely to demonstrate that the matter is not so simple as some appear to think and, hopefully, to help many of my brothers and sisters in Christ to think a little more clearly about this important issue.

Stay tuned for the next post in the series.

Blog Update

In the comments to a recent post linking to John Carpenter's article If the Family Is Central, Christ Isn't, I mentioned that I was planning to write an article of my own this week offering a Biblical defense for the notion of age segregated Sunday school classes. Sadly, however, time limitations have gotten in the way. I have managed a start on the article, but I will have to finish it and get it posted next week, Lord willing. I appreciate your patience. Please pray for God to grant me wisdom and grace in addressing the issue from Scripture.

James White Once Again Exposes Rob Bell as a False Teacher

Dr. White critiques Rob Bell's public comments concerning homosexuality made on the Unbelievable? Christian radio show.

"If the Family Is Central, Christ Isn't" by John B. Carpenter

In a recent article published at The Christian Post website, yet another Reformed Baptist pastor has weighed in on the Family Integrated Church Movement. In an article entitled If the Family Is Central, Christ Isn't, John B. Carpenter, pastor of Covenant Reformed Baptist Church (in Caswell County, North Carolina, in the Danville, Virginia area) has offered a brief critique identifying problems under eight headings:

(1) The sufficiency of scripture
(2) Divisiveness
(3) Contradicts Scripture
(4) Undermines the Authority of the Offices in the church
(5) The FIC Misreads Church History
(6) The FIC is a Cure for a Disease that's Not Prevalent
(7) Misdefinition of the Church
(8) Familism

Frankly, I cannot agree with every point made in this article, but I do think it raises some important issues. As always, we welcome feedback from the blog's readers.

Some Thoughts From Proverbs About Our Speech

Note: The following post is a teaching outline that I hope will be beneficial to the blog's readers.

Introduction: The June 15, 1992, entry of  Today in the Word asks:

Can it be that the average person spends one-fifth of his or her life talking? That's what the statistics say. If all of our words were put into print, the result would be this: a single day's words would fill a 50-page book, while in a year's time the average person's words would fill 132 books of 200 pages each! Among all those words there are bound to be some spoken in anger, carelessness, or haste.

Given how much the average person says in any given day, is it any wonder that the Book of Proverbs has so much to say about our patterns of speech? Today we will briefly highlight the teaching of Proverbs under four headings: 1) what we say, 2) how we say what we say, 3) when we say what we say, and 4) why we say what we say. We shall examine several proverbs under each heading.

I. We Need to Be Concerned About What We Say

NKJ  Proverbs 6:16-19 These six things the LORD hates, yes, seven are an abomination to Him: 17 a proud look, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, 18 a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that are swift in running to evil, 19 a false witness who speaks lies, and one who sows discord among brethren.

Note that three of the seven sins in this list of things the Lord hates involve speech in some way. Two have to do with some form of lying, while the third is the sowing of discord among the brethren, which almost certainly involves speech on most occasions.

NKJ  Proverbs 12:17 He who speaks [פּוּחַ, pûaḥ] truth declares righteousness, but a false witness, deceit.

The Hebrew word translated “speaks” literally means “to breath,” which is what we do when we speak. Thus here the word obviously refers to speech, doesn't it?

As Roland Murphy has declared in his commentary on this verse, “The verb 'tells' [speaks in the NKJV] is literally 'breathes'; truth is to be something as natural as breathing” (WBC, Vol. 22, p. 44)

The point of the verse appears to be that what we say reveals the kind of person we are. For example, the person who makes a habit of speaking truth is a person that can be trusted to promote righteousness. On the other hand, a wise person will not trust a habitual liar. Unfortunately, all too often in our culture people adopt an “ends justifies the means” mentality, assuming that a lie here and there is alright if it promotes what one believes to be a good end. Just think about the state of politics today!

But a wise person will recognize that what we say reflects who we really are, and that a person who does not habitually speak the truth is not really about promoting what is right, no matter how much he may try to rationalize his lying as a good or necessary thing.

NKJ  Proverbs 12:25 Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad.

The “good word” here may be news that the cause for anxiety/depression is gone or, more likely, a word of encouragement to make it through one's struggle with depression. In other words, a “good word” – a word of encouragement from the Word of God – can really make a big difference in someone's whole outlook on life.

NKJ  Proverbs 15:2 The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, but the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness.

Note that the difference between the wise and the foolish is not necessarily that one has more knowledge than the other, but that one uses it rightly and the other does not. The wise man knows how to speak what he knows such that wisdom rather than foolishness is the the result.

So we can see that knowing what to say is crucial. But that is not enough to make us wise in our use of words. We must learn other principles as well.

II. We Need to Be Concerned About How We Say What We Say

NKJ  Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Note that “a harsh word” is singular. It only takes one! Just think, for example, of the practice of name-calling, like the guy who sees someone cut in line at the store and mutters the word “Jerk!” just loud enough for others to hear.

This proverb reminds me of a modern saying:

I'm careful of the words I say to keep them soft and sweet.
I never know from day to day which ones I'll have to eat.

Of course, we often speak a harsh word when we have already become angry ourselves. No wonder the Apostle James later issues this warning to believers:

NKJ  James 1:19-20 So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; 20 for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

We need to stop and think before we speak, don't we? This point is made quite clearly in Proverbs as well. For example:

NKJ  Proverbs 15:28 The heart of the righteous studies how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours forth evil.

A wise person who truly cares about righteousness will also care about how he speaks to others. He knows the danger in speaking without thinking and even of speaking the right thing in the wrong way.

NKJ  Proverbs 16:24 Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.

Few things make a person feel better that pleasant words in a time of distress or troubles. Pleasant words can even sometimes turn sorrow into joy.

III.  We Need to Be Concerned About When We Say What We Say

NKJ Proverbs 15:23 A man has joy by the answer of his mouth, and a word spoken in due season, how good it is!

The Reformation Study Bible notes observe concerning this verse that, “The wise receive great satisfaction from being able to give the proper word at the proper time.”

If you are looking for a new hobby, perhaps you could go to work on this!

NKJ  Proverbs 27:14 He who blesses his friend with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, it will be counted a curse to him.

Of course, it is a great thing to bless your friend, but even such good speech must be done at a time when it can be heard with appreciation!

NKJ  Proverbs 26:4-5 Do not answer a fool according to his folly, lest you also be like him. 5 Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own eyes.

Here we have a great example of what some have termed the situational applicability of many proverbs, which follows from the nature of proverbs as generalizations. This means that in Proverbs we may sometimes find what appears to be contradictory advice, but any apparent contradiction disappears when we realize that the particular admonitions are intended to apply to diverse situations.

Thus with these two proverbs, one is encouraged to answer a fool according to his folly when there is hope of correcting him so that he will not be wise in his own eyes, so that he will no longer be self-deceived, thinking his foolishness is a good thing. But one is discouraged from answering a folly according to his folly when there is no hope of winning him over but only of ending up being more like him.

But how do we learn to discern which situation we are in? Well, that requires studying the rest of the Proverbs – as well as the rest of Scripture – and of putting what we learn into practice so that we may learn the kind of wisdom necessary in order to be more discerning. I this way we will become those who “by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil” (Heb. 5:14). And we will become increasing adept at not only what to say and how to say it, but also when to say it.

IV.  We Need to Be Concerned About Why We Say What We Say

ESV Proverbs 10:11 The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence.

In other words, the speech of the wicked will only ultimately cause harm, but we can bring life – and a more fulfilling life at that – to those who hear us. Shouldn't we remember daily that the best purpose for speech is to use it to tell the truth to others and lead them to life in Christ? Jesus made a similar point when He prophesied of the work of the Holy Spirit:

NKJ  John 7:37-39 On the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried out, saying, "If anyone thirsts, let him come to Me and drink. 38 He who believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water." 39 But this He spoke concerning the Spirit, whom those believing in Him would receive; for the Holy Spirit was not yet given, because Jesus was not yet glorified.

Every day we should ask ourselves why we are here, and to what purpose we put our opportunities to speak with others. Is it to build up and not to tear down? Is it to encourage rather than to discourage? Is it to offer praise for God's blessings rather than to complain about our circumstances? Is it to communicate the Gospel to bring life in Christ? Is it to make the lives of those who already know Christ more pleasing to God and more fulfilling for them?

NKJ Proverbs 12:18 There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, but the tongue of the wise promotes health.

NKJ Proverbs 15:4 A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.

Note also 18:14: “The spirit of a man will sustain him in sickness, but who can bear a broken spirit?”

Do you think Solomon would agree with the old saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never harm me”? I don't think so! Perhaps a better saying would be, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can break my spirit!”

Are we consciously focusing every day on speaking words that promote spiritual health and the edification of others?

Conclusion: I will conclude with another convicting reminder from Proverbs:

NKJ  Proverbs 10:19 In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, but he who restrains his lips is wise.

But life lived for Christ requires us to speak – and to speak often – doesn't it? For how else can we witness for Him or be an encouragement to our brothers and sisters in the Lord? But we often need to be careful not to say more than we need to. Perhaps instead of the average Christian speaking enough words in a day to fill a 50 page book, he could set his sights on a 30 or 40 page book instead!

I think we can do better if we just heed what the Proverbs teach us and, by God's enabling grace, be very careful about what we say, how we say what we say, when we say what we say, and why we say what we say.

Lots of Free Modules for e-Sword

Many of the blog's readers already know about my fondness for e-Sword. I have been a long time user of this free Bible study software program (alongside BibleWorks) and cannot recommend it highly enough. In my opinion, the program -- currently in version 10.1.0 -- rivals many that you would have to pay for and is better that most. It makes basic word studies a breeze and has been of great use to those in my congregation to whom I have recommended it. In fact, they often tell me that they love the layout and how user-friendly the program is. In addition, there is not a very steep learning curve with this program, so most anyone can catch on to it quickly.

But there is also a very active user community creating many quality modules for use with e-Sword. You can check them out at the BibleSupport website, where you can find an assortment of free books, commentaries, dictionaries, and Bible versions. Here is a list of some resources that this blog's readers might be interested in:

- A collection of writings by John Calvin, including his Institutes of the Christian Religion and his complete commentary

- The complete Commentary on the Old Testament and Commentary on the New Testament by the Puritan scholar John Trapp

- A Body of Divinity by John Gill (his complete commentary is already available for free through the e-Sword program)

- An Exposition of the Epistle to the Hebrews by John Owen

- A collection of writings by J.C. Ryle, including his Expository Thoughts on the Gospels

- A collection of writings by Jonathon Edwards including Notes on The Scriptures with a Commentary on Hebrews edited by John H. Gerstner

- A collection of writings by Charles Spurgeon, including Treasury of David and Verse Expositions of the Bible

- A collection of writings by Horatius Bonar

- The complete 49 volume set of The Expositor's Bible, edited by William Robertson Nicoll

- The complete 56 volume Biblical Illustrator commentary edited and compiled by Joseph S. Exell

- The complete Commentary on the Holy Scriptures: Critical, Doctrinal, and Homiletical by John Peter Lange

- The complete Pulpit Commentary edited by Joseph S. Exell and Henry Donald Maurice Spence-Jones

- Heinrich Meyer's Commentary on the New Testament: Critical and Exegetical

- William Burkitt's Expository Notes with Practical Observations on the New Testament

- Charles Simeon's Horae Homileticae Commentary

- Henry Alford's Greek Testament: An Exegetical and Critical Commentary

- John Bengel's Gnomon of the New Testament

- William Robertson Nicoll's The Expositor's Greek Testament

- F.B. Meyer's Through the Bible Commentary

- The Cambridge Greek Testament for Schools and Colleges

- G. Campbell Morgan's Exposition on the Whole Bible

- Louis Berkhof's Introduction to the New Testament

- Charles Hodge's Systematic Theology

Of course one has to use such resources with discernment, and there are many modules at the site that I would stay far away from (such as those by the Pelagian heretic Charles Finney!), but there are also many worthwhile modules that are helpful for Bible exposition.

P.S. However, the site also thankfully has a review of Finney's Lectures on Systematic Theology written by Charles Hodge.

Jeff Johnson and Michael Horton Debate Covenant Theology

This video contains the audio of the debate between Jeff Johnson (author of The Fatal Flaw and a valued contributor to this blog) and Michael Horton concerning the Credobaptist versus the Paedobaptist view of Covenant Theology. The debate took place at the 2012 Semper Reformanda Conference at Grace Family Baptist Church.

It is a very interesting and helpful discussion between two men who hold to the idea that the Mosaic Covenant is a republication of the Covenant of Works. And I would just add here my special appreciation for Jeff, who has been more to helpful to me in properly understanding Covenant Theology than perhaps any other single person.

James White Interacts With N.T. Wright on Justification

The above video contains a recent moderated radio discussion between James White and N.T. Wright concerning the Scriptural doctrine of justification. As always, James White does a good job of being fair and direct -- and above all Scriptural -- in discussing this important issue, which is at the heart of the debate over the so-called New Perspective on Paul.

Blog Update

As the regular readers of this blog know, I have always tried to post something at least once a week. However, as I explained in a December 14 update, this past year I have been battling recurrent bouts with diverticulitis, so I have not able to keep up with the blog as I normally would have.

Well, after nine attacks of diverticulitis in the past three years -- five of which have occurred in the last 7-8 months -- my doctors were able to find a window in which I was healthy enough to go through a colonoscopy followed by surgery (a laparoscopic colectomy) to remove about 12 inches of my colon. Today makes exactly one month since the surgery, and, although I am still dealing with some postoperative pain and discomfort that limits me, I am recovering well and hope to get back to regular posting again in the coming week.

I want to thank all who have prayed for me and who have been supportive of this blog. Please continue to pray that I will heal without complications and that I will have no future problems with diverticulitis. Thanks again! And may God bless you!