Toward a Biblical Perspective on Depression: Case Study #5

Many Bible teachers see in Elijah a clear example of depression, so let's take some time to briefly examine the key passage that indicates his struggle with it. This passage details the events that followed Elijah's great victory over the prophets of Baal and Asherah:

^NKJ 1 Kings 19:1-3 “And Ahab told Jezebel all that Elijah had done, also how he had executed all the prophets with the sword. ² Then Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah, saying, 'So let the gods do to me, and more also, if I do not make your life as the life of one of them by tomorrow about this time.' ³ And when he saw that, he arose and ran for his life, and went to Beersheba, which belongs to Judah, and left his servant there.”

It is hard at first to grasp such a response from the great prophet who had just publicly challenged and killed the prophets of Baal (at least 450 of them, unless we include the prophets of Asherah who were present as well, which would bring the number up to 850 false prophets, 18:19, 40). After all, why would we think he would be afraid of what Jezebel could do to him after he had just experienced such a great victory from the LORD? Yet when he heard what she intended to do he ran for his life, apparently in fear but definitely under tremendous stress.

^NKJ 1 Kings 19:4 “But he himself went a day's journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a broom tree. And he prayed that he might die, and said, 'It is enough! Now, LORD, take my life, for I am no better than my fathers!'”

It seems obvious that Elijah is feeling pretty low, so low in fact that he wants to die. And it seems clear that his depression is due to the terrible circumstances he is in, running for his life from the wrath of the wicked queen Jezebel. But we will discover later in the passage that this wasn't the primary reason for his sorrow. For now, however, let's see how God responds to Elijah's prayer that He would take his life.

^NKJ 1 Kings 19:5-8 “Then as he lay and slept under a broom tree, suddenly an angel touched him, and said to him, 'Arise and eat.' ⁶ Then he looked, and there by his head was a cake baked on coals, and a jar of water. So he ate and drank, and lay down again. ⁷ And the angel of the LORD came back the second time, and touched him, and said, 'Arise and eat, because the journey is too great for you.' ⁸ So he arose, and ate and drank; and he went in the strength of that food forty days and forty nights as far as Horeb, the mountain of God.”

Instead of taking Elijah's life as he has requested, the LORD preserved his life by providing food and additional rest for the weary prophet. God knew what Elijah really needed was some food and rest, at least for the time being. And this may also be an important factor in helping many depressed people who are struggling with sorrow over stressful or traumatic life events, for often times such people stop sleeping and eating as they should, and this only exacerbates their situation and magnifies their problems. After all, how clearly do any of us really think when we are exhausted and hungry?

But this is only a part of God's plan to get Elijah through his trials. It is a temporary aid to help him come to the place he needs to be in order to experience God's presence in a new way and to prepare him to hear what he really needs to hear.

^NKJ 1 Kings 19:9-10 “And there he went into a cave, and spent the night in that place; and behold, the word of the LORD came to him, and He said to him, 'What are you doing here, Elijah?' ¹⁰ So he said, 'I have been very zealous for the LORD God of hosts; for the children of Israel have forsaken Your covenant, torn down Your altars, and killed Your prophets with the sword. I alone am left; and they seek to take my life.'”

Here we find that the true source of Elijah's depression isn't just that Jezebel was seeking to kill him – if that weren't bad enough – but that, even after the great showdown with the prophets of Baal and Asherah, the people of Israel still didn't repent (at least Elijah doesn't think so). One gets the impression that Elijah had hoped for a great revival that did not materialize. Instead, however, he was left alone among a godless people who had slain all his fellow prophets. But if he was the only prophet left, and they wouldn't listen to him, what hope was there for the people of Israel? Such appear to be the kind of thoughts that plagued Elijah, thoughts of hopelessness and discouragement. But perhaps he also saw himself as a failure, since he had poured his life into serving the people of Israel, even risking his life in the process, only to see no apparent fruit at all. But Elijah still doesn't see the whole picture, as God will point out to him.

^NKJ 1 Kings 19:11-14 “Then He said, 'Go out, and stand on the mountain before the LORD.' And behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake; ¹² and after the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice. ¹³ So it was, when Elijah heard it, that he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood in the entrance of the cave. Suddenly a voice came to him, and said, 'What are you doing here, Elijah?' ¹⁴ And he said, 'I have been very zealous for the LORD God of hosts; because the children of Israel have forsaken Your covenant, torn down Your altars, and killed Your prophets with the sword. I alone am left; and they seek to take my life.'”

Here I suspect the LORD was addressing the real issue for Elijah, namely his expectations as to how God was going to work through his ministry. Notice how, for example, after bringing Elijah to the very same mountain where He had previously given the law to Israel amidst great wind, earthquakes and fire (Exod. 19:16-20; 20:18-19; Heb. 12:18-21), the LORD now causes these same events to occur. But this time He does not speak from the midst of these awesome occurrences as He had done before. Instead He speaks through a still small voice. In other words, He speaks in a way that Elijah may not have expected, and I think He does so in order to help Elijah see that just because He works in unexpected ways does not mean that He is not still working to bring about His plans.

But Elijah still didn't get the point, as his repetition of his complaint to the LORD demonstrates (vs. 14). He apparently didn't see what he had expected to see from the people of Israel, and this led to his feelings of depression and despair. But even here he seems to have missed what was really happening to some extent, because the author of 1 Kings reported a positive response by the people of Israel to what God had done through Elijah. He expressly stated that, after the fire of the LORD had fallen and consumed Elijah's sacrifice, “when all the people saw it, they fell on their faces; and they said, 'The LORD, He is God! The LORD, He is God!'” (18:39). And then we are informed that the people seized the false prophets when ordered to do so and brought them to Elijah to be executed (18:40). Why, then, does Elijah not see this as a positive development? Why does he think he is the only faithful Israelite left?

Perhaps Russell Dilday was correct when he wrote of Elijah's response that:

Despondency has a way of selectively focusing on certain facts from life and conveniently overlooking others. As he gushed out his lonely complaint about being the only faithful one left, he forgot about the great multitudes at Carmel who acknowledged that Yahweh was God. He forgot about the one hundred prophets protected by courageous Obadiah. “Despair is always color-blind; it can only see the dark tints.” (The Preacher's Commentary, Vol. 9, e-Sword)

Perhaps Elijah simply questioned the sincerity of the peoples' earlier response, however, and perhaps he didn't believe Obadiah when he told him about how he had saved one hundred of the LORD's prophets (18:3-13). If so, then he was clearly wrong in his assessment, and God would show him that he was wrong by informing him that there were indeed still some faithful people among the Israelites.

^NKJ 1 Kings 19:15-18 “Then the LORD said to him: 'Go, return on your way to the Wilderness of Damascus; and when you arrive, anoint Hazael as king over Syria. ¹⁶ Also you shall anoint Jehu the son of Nimshi as king over Israel. And Elisha the son of Shaphat of Abel Meholah you shall anoint as prophet in your place. ¹⁷ It shall be that whoever escapes the sword of Hazael, Jehu will kill; and whoever escapes the sword of Jehu, Elisha will kill. ¹⁸ Yet I have reserved seven thousand in Israel, all whose knees have not bowed to Baal, and every mouth that has not kissed him.'”

Notice that the LORD did two things here in addressing Elijah's depression and discouragement. First, He gave Elijah something else to do. He wasn't going to let Elijah give up and simply wallow in his self-pity. Second, He informed Elijah that he was simply wrong in thinking that he was alone in Israel, since the truth of the matter was that the LORD had reserved seven thousand in Israel who had not bowed the knee to Baal (vs. 18).

So we have seen how Elijah's depression was manifested, and we have also seen many of the corresponding issues that often surround depression, such as fear, stress, wanting to die, physical tiredness and lack of sleep, not enough to eat, feeling all alone, self-pity, having a warped perspective and being unable to clearly see the true situation. How many of these things may lead to or accompany our battles with depression?

I think Gary Gilley, pastor at Southern View Chapel in Springfield, Illinois, has a helpful take on this passage in an online article entitled A Look at Depression Through the Lens of Scripture:

Physical and/or emotional fatigue as well as poor eating habits may also be a factor. In I Kings 19 Elijah’s primary cause of depression appears to have been because of fatigue, etc. God’s initial therapy for Elijah was food and sleep (verses 5-8). Later God helped Elijah get his eyes off himself and on to God (who revealed His sovereignty, verses 11 and 13). Then, He had Elijah take a realistic look at life (verse 18), and finally He got His prophet to once again get involved in ministry (verses 15-19). The whole process took several weeks.

The example of Elijah is one the depressed person should study, for — like this great man of God — depressed people are often focusing on themselves instead of God and others. This focus is often distorted further by fatigue and poor diet. The remedy is often a refocusing of our attention, as well as rest and proper eating habits.

This sounds like sound advice to me.

The Miriam (Mariam) Ossuary is Genuine

Back in 1990 the ossuary of Caiaphas, the High Priest who presided over the trial of Jesus (Matt. 26:57-67), was discovered. But about three years ago there was another ossuary discovered, this time dedicated to Miriam, the granddaughter of Caiaphas. Specifically, the inscription reads, “Miriam daughter of Yeshua son of Caiaphas, priest of Maaziah from Beth Imri.”

On June 29 the Washington Post reported that Israeli scholars have concluded that the ossuary is indeed genuine.

Yesterday Christopher Rollston, Professor of Old Testament and Semitic Studies at Emmanuel Christian Seminary, posted a helpful article assessing the evidence and its importance in further confirming the identity and existence of Caiaphas as High Priest and how this evidence squares nicely with the New Testament references to him.

So we have yet another example of how archaeological discoveries continue to support the veracity of the Biblical accounts. But, of course, none of this blog's readers should be at all surprised by this!

Toward a Biblical Perspective on Depression: Case Study #4

There are many examples of depression from the life of David, who may have had a tendency toward depression that many of God's children have experienced over the years. Many of his psalms deal with this very issue in one way or another, but we will limit our focus to just two of them.

NKJ Psalm 6:1-10 “O LORD, do not rebuke me in Your anger, nor chasten me in Your hot displeasure. 2 Have mercy on me, O LORD, for I am weak; O LORD, heal me, for my bones are troubled. 3 My soul also is greatly troubled; but You, O LORD – how long? 4 Return, O LORD, deliver me! Oh, save me for Your mercies' sake! 5 For in death there is no remembrance of You; in the grave who will give You thanks? 6 I am weary with my groaning; all night I make my bed swim; I drench my couch with my tears. 7 My eye wastes away because of grief; it grows old because of all my enemies. 8 Depart from me, all you workers of iniquity; for the LORD has heard the voice of my weeping. 9 The LORD has heard my supplication; the LORD will receive my prayer. 10 Let all my enemies be ashamed and greatly troubled; let them turn back and be ashamed suddenly.”

Here we see that the cause for David's depression in this instance was mainly the bad treatment he was receiving from others. He refers to those who are abusing him as “workers of iniquity” (vs. 8) and “enemies” (vs. 10). He doesn't tell us what they were doing to make his life so miserable, but miserable he surely was (vs. 3)! In fact, we have here not only the typical weeping that comes with depression (vss. 6-8), but also the physical symptoms that may accompany it (vs. 2).

This psalm really hit home with me because a great deal of the depression I had experienced early in my life had to do with the mistreatment I received from others. But, sadly, I did not discover what David knew until I was twenty years old, namely that I could find help from God through praise and prayer. But this is what David discovered, isn't it? For isn't this psalm both praise and prayer? In it David calls out to God for help and also expresses confidence that God will indeed answer him (vss. 8-9). So here again we have the most basic answer for depression – simple trust in the Lord, a trust in Him that gives us confidence to open our hearts to Him.

This psalm also shows us the importance of sharing our troubles with other people. After all, this psalm was written by David to be sung by others. How sad it is, then, when believers keep their depression all bottled up inside, instead of sharing it with God and His people.

Let's turn our attention next to Psalm 32:

NKJ Psalm 32:1-5 “Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. 2 Blessed is the man to whom the LORD does not impute iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit. 3 When I kept silent, my bones grew old through my groaning [שְׁאָגָה, sheagah, literally roaring as of a lion, but here with the sense of bawling or groaning] all the day long. 4 For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me; my vitality was turned into the drought of summer. Selah 5 I acknowledged my sin to You, and my iniquity I have not hidden. I said, 'I will confess my transgressions to the LORD,' and You forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah”

Here the obvious reason for David's depression was guilt due to unconfessed sin. Notice several effects of this guilt in verses 3-4.

First, David had not only emotional effects (“groaning,” vs. 3), but also physical effects (“my bones grew old,” vs. 3; “my vitality was turned into the drought of summer,” vs. 4b) from unconfessed sin.

Second, David was continually plagued by the unconfessed sin and the accompanying symptoms (“day and night,” vs. 4a).

Third, David had these ailments and depression as a result of God's discipline (“Your hand was heavy upon me,” vs.4a).

This means that depression accompanied by physical symptoms, or in combination with physical ailments, whether they are experienced together – as in David's case – or not, can be due to the discipline of the Lord. For other Scriptural examples of God's discipline, consider the following passages:

NKJ 1 Corinthians 11:26-30 “For as often as you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord's death till He comes. 27 Therefore whoever eats this bread or drinks this cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord. 28 But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of the bread and drink of the cup. 29 For he who eats and drinks in an unworthy manner eats and drinks judgment to himself, not discerning the Lord's body. 30 For this reason many are weak and sick among you, and many sleep.”

If God can discipline through sickness, weakness, and even death, then He can certainly do so through depression, can't He? I believe so. In fact, I think this was the very thing David experienced due to unconfessed sin.

NKJ James 5:14-15 “Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. 15 And the prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven.”

Notice that James assumes that sickness may be due to sin in a person's life. But if this is so, then it should be seen as discipline from the Lord, shouldn't it? This is certainly what David discovered. In fact, his unconfessed sin led to both physical ailment and depression. And this may be true of many depressed people today as well. If so, then they should also be encouraged that this is a sign of God's love for them, as the author of Hebrews teaches:

NKJ Hebrews 12:5-8 “And you have forgotten the exhortation which speaks to you as to sons: 'My son, do not despise the chastening of the LORD, nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him; 6 For whom the LORD loves He chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives.' [Prov. 3:11-12] 7 If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? 8 But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons.”

If you are experiencing depression because of unconfessed sin or due to God's discipline, then you need to remember not to get discouraged and think that it is a sign that God does not love you. Actually, it is a sign of the very opposite! It is a sign of His great Fatherly love, because of which He will apply the discipline you need.

I wonder how many of us may be struggling with depression or some physical ailment due to a stubborn refusal to deal with our sins by confessing them to the Lord and receiving His Forgiveness. And I wonder how many of us in such a condition can deny that it is pride that keeps us from calling out to Him in repentance as we should? So again we see that depression is often bound up with pride.

Toward a Biblical Perspective on Depression: Case Study #3

There are perhaps several examples from the life of Moses that we could examine, but one clear instance of depression in his life can be found in Numbers 11, which relates the account of the Israelites complaining about having to eat manna every day:

NKJ Numbers 11:10-15 “Then Moses heard the people weeping throughout their families, everyone at the door of his tent; and the anger of the LORD was greatly aroused; Moses also was displeased. 11 So Moses said to the LORD, 'Why have You afflicted Your servant? And why have I not found favor in Your sight, that You have laid the burden of all these people on me? 12 Did I conceive all these people? Did I beget them, that You should say to me, “Carry them in your bosom, as a guardian carries a nursing child,” to the land which You swore to their fathers? 13 Where am I to get meat to give to all these people? For they weep all over me, saying, “Give us meat, that we may eat.” 14 I am not able to bear all these people alone, because the burden is too heavy for me. 15 If You treat me like this, please kill me here and now – if I have found favor in Your sight – and do not let me see my wretchedness!'”

Here I think we can see that the primary reason for Moses' depression was stress. He had to deal with the stress of people that constantly complained and of having to look after them all the time. Moses was simply overwhelmed! And he was so depressed that he wanted to die! This is the kind of despair he related in verse 15, where he said, “please kill me here and now … and do not let me see my wretchedness.” The Hebrew term translated wretchedness can indicate evil or perverseness on the one hand, or it can indicate misery or trouble on the other. And I think that perhaps Moses used the term because it carried both of these connotations. That is, I think that Moses did not want to see either his own misery or his own evil reactions to it any longer. So I like the way the KJV, NKJV, ESV, and NASB have translated the term as wretchedness, because this English word can carry both of these basic connotations as well. For example, the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary gives the following definition for wretchedness:

1 : deeply afflicted, dejected, or distressed in body or mind

2 : extremely or deplorably bad or distressing

3 : a : being or appearing mean, miserable, or contemptible

     b : very poor in quality or ability : inferior

The first two senses listed overlap nicely with the semantic range of the Hebrew term used by Moses. It helps us to see that Moses may have been distressed both at his own continual misery and at his own deplorably bad reaction to it. Perhaps he was just sick and tired not only of the stress and depression stemming from all the Israelites' constant complaining and weeping, but also from the trial of being mad at them and disappointed in them all the time.

But at least Moses didn't continue to try to deal with it all on his own. Instead, he turned to the Lord and honestly communicated the despair that was in his heart. And he found comfort in the Lord as well as help, for the Lord gave him seventy elders to help him in looking after the people and to ease his burden:

NKJ Numbers 11:16-17 “So the LORD said to Moses: 'Gather to Me seventy men of the elders of Israel, whom you know to be the elders of the people and officers over them; bring them to the tabernacle of meeting, that they may stand there with you. 17 Then I will come down and talk with you there. I will take of the Spirit that is upon you and will put the same upon them; and they shall bear the burden of the people with you, that you may not bear it yourself alone.'”

Notice how graciously God helped Moses by giving him a way to minimize the stress he was under through sharing the burden with others. We can learn a lesson from this, namely that, when we are struggling with depression due to stress, we need to share our burdens with the Lord and with fellow believers when they become too heavy to bear alone.

Sadly, too many of us fail to open up to others about our troubles when we should. And, even worse, we fail to open up even to God about our troubles, either because we don't think He will listen or because we don't really trust Him. But Moses' example teaches us that we can always count on God to care, so we need to tell Him all our struggles. I think he would agree with Peter's admonition to us when he writes:

NKJ 1 Peter 5:6-7 “Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, 7 casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.”

I am reminded in this regard of the important teaching of Hebrews about the High Priestly ministry of Jesus and the implications of this ministry for believers. For example:

NKJ Hebrews 2:17-18 “Therefore, in all things He had to be made like His brethren, that He might be a merciful and faithful High Priest in things pertaining to God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people. 18 For in that He Himself has suffered, being tempted, He is able to aid those who are tempted."

NKJ Hebrews 4:14-16 “Seeing then that we have a great High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. 15 For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. 16 Let us therefore come boldly [parrēsía] to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

It is significant that the Greek word translated boldly in 4:16 (or with confidence as in ESV and NASB) can literally mean “speaking all things” (Linguistic Key to the Greek New Testament, p. 677). Thus it can refer to “a use of speech that conceals nothing and passes over nothing, outspokenness, frankness, plainness” (BAGD3 # 5720, BibleWorks). This is why it could also be used of the boldness the Apostles had in sharing the Gospel (e.g. Acts 4:29, 31; 28:31) and could even be used to refer to “a state of boldness and confidence, courage, confidence, boldness, fearlessness, esp. in the presence of persons of high rank” (BAGD3 # 5720, BibleWorks).

You see, the Greek word refers to the confidence or boldness that one has to speak openly, even in the presence of someone great. And I think this connotation is to be understood in Hebrews 4:16 with respect to the way we come before God in prayer. We need to know that, because Jesus understands all that we are going through, we can truly pour out our hearts before Him and find the grace we need.

Perhaps a brief illustration may help to get the point across. I recall that in my Navy days I could not just go up to the captain of my ship and speak to him whenever I wished. I had to have permission to do so. And even when I was called to stand before him and speak with him, I could not simply say whatever I wished. For that I had to ask permission to “speak freely,” and could only speak freely if such permission were granted to me. Well, in Hebrews 4 we are given permission not only to come before God, but to speak freely when we do so. We are invited to come boldly – to speak what is on our hearts in prayer – before His throne of grace, encouraged by the fact that Jesus, our Great High Priest, sympathizes with us in all our weaknesses, including when we struggle with depression (more on this in a later, when we do a case study of Jesus Himself as one who knew the depths of depression).

But here is where the Christian can encounter a great deal of spiritual warfare, especially since the devil and his minions do not what us to come confidently before the Lord with our troubles. This is exactly the problem Peter deals with in the passage cited above, when he writes:

NKJ 1 Peter 5:5-9 “Likewise you younger people, submit yourselves to your elders. Yes, all of you be submissive to one another, and be clothed with humility, for 'God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.' [Prov. 3:34] 6 Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, 7 casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. 8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. 9 Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world.”

So the person with depression is going to struggle with opening up to God and is going to encounter spiritual warfare that will make this even harder. But notice that Peter sees the real trouble as being pride. And he teaches that we will never find the grace we need if we do not humble ourselves before the Lord. Sadly, however, far too many depressed people struggle with pride that will not let them truly surrender their problems to the Lord. Far too many of them believe the devil's lie that God does not care and that if He did they wouldn't struggle with depression in the first place. I hope we have seen, however, that this is far from the truth and that God not only cares, but that He cares so much that He gave His one and only Son to be our High Priest and to allow us to come boldly before His throne of grace, where we may obtain “grace to help in time of need” (Heb. 14:16). But this boldness is not brashness; it is rather a deep humility that trusts in the Lord and in His grace.

Now, many of you may think, “Wait a minute! Isn't the depressed person the very epitome of humility? Isn't he typically the person whose real struggle is with low self-esteem, the very opposite of pride?” Well, to be quite frank, in my own experience with depression, and in my experience dealing with depressed people, thinking that the problem is “low self-esteem” is usually just a way of masking the real problem – pride! In fact, as I observed in an earlier post, some of the most depressed people I have ever known are also some of the most prideful people I have ever known, and their battle with depression is actually rooted in their pride in one way or another. Perhaps it is pride that keeps them from trusting the Lord to overcome their depression, or perhaps God's purpose in allowing the depression is to deal with their pride, but pride is very often at the bottom of things, and the way they very often seek to avoid this conclusion is by relabeling their pride as something else, such as “low self-esteem.”

But one thing Moses' example – the example of the most humble of all men in his day (Num. 12:3) – teaches us is that we must be humble enough to trust the Lord to help us, and we must be confident enough in His love for us that we will truly open up to Him. And when He provides a means to help us through the aid of our fellow believers, we must be humble enough to accept this as well.

Toward a Biblical Perspective on Depression: Case Study #2

In our first case study, we saw that depression can be the result of unresolved sin, but in this case study we will see an example of depression that doesn't stem from sin, even though it leads to sin. In fact, we will see that even the most righteous man on the earth in his day succumbed to a sinful attitude in the midst of a terrible depression. In this case study we will focus our attention upon the account of Job, who is perhaps one of the first people we think of when we think of Biblical examples of depression. And we are given some very good reasons for why he was depressed. For example, we know that God at first allowed Satan to destroy Job's family (except for his wife) and all of his property (1:13-19). But we are told that Job's initial reaction to these terrible events was one of godly worship, even in the midst of such deep pain and anguish.

^NKJ Job 1:20-22 “Then Job arose, tore his robe, and shaved his head; and he fell to the ground and worshiped. ²¹ And he said: 'Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return there. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.' ²² In all this Job did not sin nor charge God with wrong.”

So, Job found refuge in his knowledge that God was sovereign over all things, even over the terrible things that had happened to him and his wife, when they lost all their children and all their possessions.

However, as Job himself was attacked with physical infirmities (2:1-7), as his wife began to nag him (2:9-10), as his depression got deeper and deeper, and he received no comfort from his friends, he began to become more and more bitter and angry. In fact, he even began to get angry at God and to accuse Him of wronging him. Let's take a further look at his situation and examine some of his own descriptions of his depression:

^NKJ Job 3:1-3 “After this Job opened his mouth and cursed the day of his birth. ² And Job spoke, and said: ³ 'May the day perish on which I was born, and the night in which it was said, “A male child is conceived.”'”

^NKJ Job 3:24-26 “For my sighing comes before I eat, and my groanings pour out like water. ²⁵ For the thing I greatly feared has come upon me, and what I dreaded has happened to me. ²⁶ I am not at ease, nor am I quiet; I have no rest, for trouble comes.”

^NKJ Job 6:26 “Do you intend to rebuke my words, and the speeches of a desperate one, which are as wind?”

In other words, Job is asking his friends why they are jumping all over him for venting in the midst of such pain. Don't they realize that the words of people in such a sad state cannot always be taken so seriously? On the other hand, Job will later regret having said much of what he said (40:3-4; 42:1-6)! But we will focus on Job's repentance later. For now, let's continue looking at the depths of his depression:

^NKJ Job 9:27-31 “If I say, 'I will forget my complaint, I will put off my sad face and wear a smile,' ²⁸ I am afraid of all my sufferings; I know that You will not hold me innocent. ²⁹ If I am condemned, why then do I labor in vain? ³⁰ If I wash myself with snow water, and cleanse my hands with soap, ³¹ yet You will plunge me into the pit, and my own clothes will abhor me.'”

^NKJ Job 10:1-3 “My soul loathes my life; I will give free course to my complaint, I will speak in the bitterness of my soul. ² I will say to God, 'Do not condemn me; show me why You contend with me. ³ Does it seem good to You that You should oppress, that You should despise the work of Your hands, and smile on the counsel of the wicked?'”

^NKJ Job 19:6 “Know then that God has wronged me, and has surrounded me with His net.”

How sad what has happened to Job! After refusing either to curse God or accuse Him of any wrong (1:20; 2:10), he eventually succumbed to the pressure of his circumstances and the resulting despair and accused God of wrong. Such has been the temptation of many a depressed and sorrowful soul. Thankfully, though, Job never did curse God and turn away from Him, no matter how bitter and angry he became.

In the end, however, Job found solace in the same understanding of God's sovereignty that had at first enabled him to respond correctly. For, as a result of his suffering, Job had been given a clearer revelation of God that he had ever had before, and it was enough for him, even though he still had no answers for why all the terrible things had happened to him. Listen to what he says about it:

^NKJ Job 42:1-6 “Then Job answered the LORD and said: ² 'I know that You can do everything, and that no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You. ³ You asked, “Who is this who hides counsel without knowledge?” Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know. ⁴ Listen, please, and let me speak; You said, “I will question you, and you shall answer Me.” ⁵ I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees You. ⁶ Therefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes.'”

Notice that the first thing Job does, once he understands again the greatness of his sovereign God, is to repent. He repents of what he had said before about God, when he accused Him of treating him unfairly, and he admits that he never deserved to be treated well in the first place. Indeed, he hates what he has done. In light of who God is, he sees himself as small and insignificant and in need of God's mercy.

I think we may learn a valuable lesson from Job's example. You see, we will never have as clear a vision of God as we may have when we have been brought to the end of ourselves. And, when we have been brought to the very end of ourselves, to the end of our ability even to cope, we will discover that the clearer vision of God that we receive will be enough, even if it we don't get answers to our questions. To be sure, we should not expect to experience a theophany in which God appears to us in a whirlwind, as He did to Job, but we will nevertheless be able to ascertain like never before just how great He really is!

Do you want to know how great God truly is? If so, then you will have to discover how insignificant you truly are, and this means you will have to be brought low, perhaps to the deepest reaches of depression. But it will be worth it, and it will make you more useful to God as well, just as it did Job. Notice, for example, that at the beginning of the book we are told that Job offered sacrifices for his children and interceded for them (1:5). But at the end of the book Job's ministry was expanded to include his friends (42:7-9). Thus he found that he was able to minister to the very friends who had let him down, and he was able to do so in a way he never could have had he not gone through the trials he went through. We are also told that Job received more blessing from the Lord than ever, after he had gone through all of his trials (42:12a).

Perhaps we should consider that the kind of depression we all dread so much (3:25) may just be the best friend we could ever have! In my view, this is one of the great lessons to be learned from the example of Job. For even if we cannot see it clearly at the time, such calamity and depression may be the best thing for us in the end. But we need to trust God as Job did in order to see it. As Paul later teaches us, we need to remember that “all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose” (Rom. 8:28).

I guess what I am trying to say from the teaching of Job, as well as from my own experience, is that depression could just be the best friend a person may ever have, but a person has to be willing to make friends with it. There has to be a willingness to see it in the context of God's larger plan. In fact, there has to be a willingness to see it as an opportunity to know God better and to better make Him known. I believe this is what Job discovered in the end, and I hope we may discover it as well.

Toward a Biblical Perspective on Depression: Case Study #1

Cain may be the first clear example of depression in the Bible. Although Adam and Eve may well have been depressed after they sinned and then after they were driven from the Garden of Eden, the text does not explicitly address it. But it is clear that Cain was depressed, for God spoke to him about it:

NKJ Genesis 4:2b-7 “Now Abel was a keeper of sheep, but Cain was a tiller of the ground. 3 And in the process of time it came to pass that Cain brought an offering of the fruit of the ground to the LORD. 4 Abel also brought of the firstborn of his flock and of their fat. And the LORD respected Abel and his offering, 5 but He did not respect Cain and his offering. And Cain was very angry, and his countenance fell. 6 So the LORD said to Cain, 'Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen? 7 If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it.'”

The Net Bible notes are correct in describing the meaning of the phrase that describes Cain's “countenance” (literally face) as having “fallen”:

Heb “And his face fell.” The idiom means that the inner anger is reflected in Cain's facial expression. The fallen or downcast face expresses anger, dejection, or depression. Conversely, in Numbers 6 the high priestly blessing speaks of the LORD lifting up his face and giving peace. (BibleWorks)

So the text indicates clearly that Cain was depressed and that his depression was connected to his anger, anger which the context leads us to believe was toward both God and Abel. He was clearly angry because God had not accepted his offering, which means that he was angry at God. But he was also clearly angry at Abel for having been accepted by God when he had not been, which is obvious from the fact that he murdered Abel (vss. 8-9).

So what can we learn from this example? I would suggest at least three lessons:

1) Depression can result from an unrepentant heart, such as when Cain refused to heed God's counsel and repent of his sinful heart. Cain wanted God to accept him, but only on his own terms. His prideful heart would not allow him to humble himself before the Lord. Instead of confessing his sin and seeking God's grace and forgiveness, he let his anger rule him until it led to murder.

2) Depression can result from unresolved anger. Cain became depressed because he was angry and refused to deal with his anger in the right way.

3) Depression can result from feelings of inadequacy and perhaps jealousy of someone else. In this case Cain felt he couldn't please God and was jealous of Abel's relationship with Him. But he could not see that the problem was not really his inadequacy; it was really his refusal to come to God on God's terms.

The cure for the depression Cain experienced is obvious from the causes, isn't it? All Cain had to do was confess his sin and ask for God's grace. But he refused to do so.

We can also learn from Cain's example that sometimes depression is a signal of pride and unresolved sin in a person's life. Sadly, most people today resent even the suggestion of this possibility when they seek help with depression. Yet, isn't this the very issue God Himself raised with Cain in response to his depression? Indeed it is, and it is the very issue many who struggle with depression need to confront in themselves as well. In fact, although I risk sounding insensitive to many, and even cruel to some, when I say this, nevertheless I must say that in my experience some of the most depressed people I have known are also some of the most prideful or angry people I have known. I include my own past struggles with depression in this assessment.

Now, I would of course never say that this is the only – or even the primary – reason for depression for many who struggle with it, but I do believe it is a far more common source of depression than many want to admit. And the reason they don't want to admit it is the very same reason that Cain didn't want to admit it, because they would rather blame God or some other person for their dilemma than take responsibility for themselves. This tendency toward refusal to take personal responsibility for one's actions or the state of one's own heart is a growing problem in our culture, and it has made significant inroads into the churches as well.

In addition, even where unresolved sin such as pride and anger are not readily identifiable as the source of one's struggle with depression, these sins are often present as a response to depression. I have dealt with many a person who responded to their struggle with depression by becoming angry at God, for example, and who have pridefully refused to let go of their anger, and it has only made their battle with depression even more difficult.

Therefore it is all the more important that we do not shirk from raising the issue of sin when dealing with depressed people. Although we may not know their hearts the way God knew Cain's heart, we do know that they were born sinners just as Cain was, and thus we also know that sin will likely be a crucial factor in their struggle with depression, whether as its source or as a complicating factor.

John Piper's Interview of Rick Warren on Doctrine

You may read John's description of the purpose and focus of the interview here, but here are just of few paragraphs from his explanation:

The nature of the interview is mainly doctrinal. I read Rick’s The Purpose Driven Life with great care. I brought 20 pages of quotes and questions to the interview. You will hear me quote the book dozens of times. With these quotes as a starting point I dig into Rick’s mind and heart on all the issues listed below (with the times that they begin on the video).

My aim in this interview is to bring out and clarify what Rick Warren believes about these biblical doctrines. In doing this my hope is that the thousands of pastors and lay people who look to Rick for inspiration and wisdom will see the profound place that doctrine has in his mind and heart.

Rick is not known for being a doctrinal preacher. One reason for this is his intention to be theologically sound and practically helpful without using doctrinal or theological terms in his public ministry. Inside of Saddleback there is a greater intentionality about building biblical and theological categories into the people’s minds and hearts.

Near the end of the interview, with great respect and appreciation for the stewardship of influence that Rick carries, I exhort him and pray for him that God will make the final chapter of his ministry a deepening one, that leaves a legacy of biblical and doctrinal truth more explicitly and firmly in the minds and hearts of the generations that will follow him.

Having watched the interview in its entirety, I have to say that I was very glad to see John press Rick on crucial issues such as unconditional election, total depravity, and a substitutionary understanding of the atonement, and I was equally glad to hear Rick affirm his agreement on such matters. However, I still find that I share the skepticism voiced by Tim Challies concerning Rick Warren. Tim posted an article earlier today entitled Thinking About Rick Warren & John Piper, in which he expressed concern on at least two major issues:

A Theological Chameleon

One of the most common critiques of Rick Warren and one of the most important is that he is something of a chameleon. There is a kind of pragmatism to him where he will be A and Not A depending on the context. I have little confidence that in a different context Warren would have answered the questions the same way. I am not saying that he outright lied to Piper, but simply that his track record shows that he adapts to fit the context.

Warren has been lauded in the secular media for speaking for a long time to a large group of Jewish leaders without ever using the name of Jesus. He is now being lauded by Calvinists for affirming the doctrines of grace. He has received praise from Roman Catholics. After all, he recently wrote the introduction to a special edition of TIME magazine that celebrated the life of Mother Teresa. This introduction praises the woman and holds her up as a model of Christian virtue. There Warren tells about a handwritten note by Mother Teresa that adorns the wall of his office. He proclaims that Mother Teresa “offered the same unconditional love our Savior did. By being the hands and feet of Jesus, this petite Albanian nun became one of the great evangelists of the 20th century.” He declared her “exhibit A of a true hero—a saint.” Mother Teresa, though, was a Catholic of Catholics, a devout follower of her church. She was also a universalist and one who saw no reason to seek to convert people to the gospel.

I think I am right to be confused here, right to ask questions. How do the doctrines of grace allow for an ardent Roman Catholic, one who denied those doctrines as anathema, to exemplify the Christian faith, to be a true hero—a saint? Surely I am not the only one who sees a contradiction. Surely I am not wrong to balk at Warren teaching Jewish rabbis how to increase the strength of their congregations.

Warren gave all the right answers in this interview, but I am not at all convinced that they reflect what he truly believes at all times and in all contexts. And certainly his ministry does not appear to bear out the kind of theological underpinnings that would reflect the theology he espouses here. Where is the influence of Edwards? Where is the monergism? Where do we see a belief in total depravity consistently applied in any of his books?

Use of Scripture

Another very common critique of Rick Warren and his books concerns the use of Scripture. Throughout The Purpose Driven Life he consistently and unapologetically tears verses from their context and applies them haphazardly, relying on a long list of translations and paraphrases to do so. Examples abound and would probably number in the hundreds; these are very well documented and very widely known.

Piper spoke to Warren about Scripture but stopped short of asking about his use of Scripture. If I were to preach in my church and Scripture as Warren does, I would be rebuked and I would deserve the rebuke. If a man stood in the pulpit of Bethlehem Baptist Church and used Scripture as Warren does, he would be rebuked as well, I am convinced. We do not want men to learn from Warren how to preach, how to use Scripture! He does not treat the Word of God as the very words of God. He can speak of his indebtedness to Edwards and Spurgeon and others, but his preaching shows very little of their influence.

These are just 2 critiques that remain unaddressed—very important critiques that seem to get to the heart of what he truly believes.

I recommend not only listening to the entirety of John's interview but also reading the entirety of Tim's article written in response to the interview (including many of the comments if time permits). I must say that I can certainly identify with Tim's reluctance to criticize John on the matter while feeling it necessary to do so, since I ran into the same problem when I felt compelled to write an article entitled Disappointed in John Piper's Judgment About Doug Wilson back in the summer of 2009.

Toward a Biblical Perspective on Depression: Introduction

Regular readers of this blog will know that I have personally battled depression in my own life (see How the Lord Shepherded Me Through My Wife's Battle With Ovarian Cancer). In fact, I struggled with this issue throughout my childhood and into my adult years until I finally found victory in Christ.

But I have not only had personal experience with depression, I have also had a substantial amount of pastoral experience dealing with other people who battle depression as well. In fact, in my experience as a pastor over the past twenty years or so, I believe I have seen a growing number of people who struggle with depression, or at least who are willing to admit that they struggle with it.

This personal and pastoral experience has repeatedly led me to the Scriptures to seek answers for my own struggles as well as to help others who shared a similar struggle. As I prayerfully studied Scripture seeking such answers, the Lord has not only brought great healing and joy to my own heart, but He has also graciously used me to help many others as well. However, until recently I never tried to collect my thoughts on the matter in order to present them in a unified way. But that changed when I was asked to spend some time teaching on the subject of depression at Immanuel this past year. What follows is essentially my teaching notes on the subject of depression from a Biblical point of view.

Although it is beyond the scope of my study, or the time that I have to deal with the subject matter, to get into all that the Bible might have to say about this important issue, I would at least like to offer a broad and basic overview. I shall do so in four stages. First, I will briefly discuss seven case studies from Scripture, from which we may draw some lessons about some of the possible causes and cures for depression. Second, I will briefly examine a number of passages that deal specifically with depression. Third, I will then examine a number of key texts dealing with trials in the Christian life (of which depression is but one example). Fourth, I will finish by examining some passages that teach about joy in the Christian life.

An Important Caveat

I want to make it clear that I am not a trained therapist or medical doctor. This means that I am not qualified to speak authoritatively about medical concerns that surround the issue of depression, such as certain physical conditions or chemical imbalances in the brain. So, although I will share what the Bible has to say about physical symptoms that may lead to or stem from depression, I will do so as a pastor-teacher and not as a trained psychologist, psychiatrist, or licensed counselor. This also means that the focus of my presentation will be to deal with depression primarily as a spiritual and emotional matter, although when the Bible addresses physical symptoms I will present this data as well, knowing that the Bible speaks as our inerrant and infallible source of authoritative truth on whatever matters it addresses.

I hope the readers of this blog will find this series helpful, especially those who may themselves struggle with depression.

Soli Deo gloria!

Avoiding "a Messianic View of the Christian Family"

Lately Sam Waldron has been writing a series of blog posts addressing the Family-Integrated Church Movement (FICM). I highly recommend the whole series (which is still in progress), but today I want to highlight two of the articles in particular, which constitute parts 7 and 8 of the series thus far:

Family-Integrated Church 7: Are We Guilty of a Messianic View of the Christian Family?

Family-Integrated Church 8: Are We Guilty of a Messianic View of the Christian Family? (Continued)

In these articles Dr. Waldron warns that we can wrongly begin to think that the focus of the Gospel is on the Christian family rather than Christ. I think we should pay heed to his heartfelt admonition when he writes:

What do I mean? I mean that the Bible is first of all about the gospel of Christ. There is one Messiah, and he alone is the hope of the world. He alone is the hope of our children. Our Christian families are not the hope of the world. The hope of the world in any sense that we may speak of an earthly institution is the body of Christ, the church, and not the Christian family. It was to the church and not the family that Christ said in Matthew 5:14-16, “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden; nor does anyone light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.” Our light should shine partly in our Christian families, but the light is mainly Christ in the church seen in its good works.

Let me say it clearly. The message of the Bible is Christ, and it is really, really easy to gradually in our minds and hearts to make our focus something else—like the Christian family. The hope of the world is the gospel of Christ, and it is really, really easy to put our hope in something else. It is especially easy to put our hope in something good like the Bible’s general promises of temporal welfare for moral living, like the Bible’s general promises to nations which have moral civil laws, and like the Bible’s real commands and promises about Christian living in the home.

Why am I concerned? Here is why. I believe that my views on this subject were skewed and distorted for some years. And I believe that all of us must be careful not to distort the message of the Bible into something that focuses on the Christian family rather than on Christ Himself. We are not the hope of the world. We are earthen vessels. The treasure is Christ Himself.

If you have been interested in the discussion concerning the FICM, then I heartily recommend Dr. Waldron's fair, loving, and transparent critique. I look forward to the rest of the series, and I think you will too.

How the Lord Shepherded Me Through My Wife's Battle With Ovarian Cancer (Reposted)

In celebration of my wife's third year full of being cancer free, I am posting again the article I wrote about how God saw us through that difficult trial. Of course, the focus here is on my own struggle as her husband, but the article communicates a theology of God's sovereignty over suffering and trials that is precious to her as well as to me. May God be glorified in and through our lives as I submit to you once again my personal testimony of His grace in some of the most difficult moments of my life.

Soli Deo gloria!

As the blog's regular readers know, a little over a year ago my wife, Kim, was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. I am glad to report at this time that she is doing very well and the prognosis is good. I praise the Lord for His mercy to my family. I am so glad that He has allowed me to keep my beloved a while longer. However, early on I wasn't so sure that things would turn out well, and we were concerned that she might not live. Now I want to share with you all the journey that I went through as a husband, father, and pastor, especially during those early fearful days. At the time there were a number of Scriptural passages that the Lord brought to mind, and I shared the way the Lord used these passages in my life with my church family while I was going through this trial last year. I also kept notes as to how the Lord spoke to me throughout that time. Today I would like to share essentially the same testimony with the blog's readers. It is my hope that God may be glorified in it.

The Initial Discovery of the Cancer

In early April of 2008 Kim began to experience severe abdominal pain, which led to a visit to the emergency room at a local hospital. We suspected it might be appendicitis, as did the ER doctor, who quickly ordered a CT scan to confirm the diagnosis. However, as it turned out, two different problems were discovered: diverticulitis and a large ovarian cyst. They admitted her to the hospital to treat her for the diverticulitis and ordered an ultrasound to look more closely at the cyst, which revealed a mass growing inside it. After a visit with my wife's OB/GYN and another ultrasound, we were next referred to a gynecological oncologist, who we saw on April 23. He told us that he had very little doubt that Kim had ovarian cancer and that, given the way the mass looked and the amount of fluid in her abdomen in conjunction with the mass, she probably had a stage of cancer that would offer her about a 30% chance of survival at best. This could only be confirmed by proper surgical staging and a removal and examination of the mass. Thankfully, due to a cancellation in the doctor's busy surgical schedule, we were able to get an early date for the the surgery on April 28.

Reacting to the Cancer Diagnosis

So there we were, waiting five days to discover just how bad the cancer was and hoping that the doctor was wrong, despite his years of experience dealing with such things. But I have to admit that I was afraid that I would lose my wife of almost 22 years. In fact, it was a quiet fear that had been in the back of my mind for many years and for a couple of reasons. First, I had always felt that I did not deserve Kim and the happiness I have had with her. I have always been overwhelmed by the fact the God would save me at all, but to pile on so much added grace, to actually bring me such undeserved happiness in this life, just seemed too good to be true. I know it may sound strange, and perhaps it has to do in part with my background and the baggage that comes with it, but I have always had this underlying fear that I would lose her somehow. And in this particular five day period in my life that fear came to the surface with surprisingly great force.

Second, since the days of our engagement to be married, I have struggled with not allowing my wife to be an idol in my life. In fact, I communicated this very thing to the pastor who provided our premarital counseling. I knew I had a tendency to look to Kim first for comfort when I was struggling, and often I would seek her out when I had a problem before I would even think to take it to the Lord in prayer. And this battle has been there for me throughout our marriage. Perhaps this was further exacerbated by the fact that my conversion came about at around the same time that I met Kim. In fact, the Lord saved me about a month before He brought Kim into my life, and this means that all the really happy years of my life have been with her (in spite of ongoing battles with depression early on, which I will address below). Anyway, I have had to constantly go to the Lord and ask forgiveness because – and I say this to my shame – I was repeatedly tempted to love Kim more than Him.

So, you can see why I feared that I might lose Kim to cancer. I feared that I had loved her too much and that I never really deserved her in the first place. Perhaps this is why one of the first passages that came to my mind was from Ezekiel, when God told him that he was going to have to lose his wife in order to serve Him:

NKJ Ezekiel 24:16 “'Son of man, behold, I take away from you the desire of your eyes with one stroke; yet you shall neither mourn nor weep, nor shall your tears run down. 17 Sigh in silence, make no mourning for the dead; bind your turban on your head, and put your sandals on your feet; do not cover your lips, and do not eat man's bread of sorrow.' 18 So I spoke to the people in the morning, and at evening my wife died; and the next morning I did as I was commanded.”

This passage settled on my heart with such power that it almost overwhelmed me. It was as though God were saying to me, “Keith, are you willing to lose your wife for my purposes? If I take her from you, will you still trust me? Will you continue to serve me without questioning my will?” And my constant answer to the continual replaying of these questions in my mind actually encouraged me. I said, “Yes, Lord,” without hesitation or equivocation. I cried out to God, “Holy Father, nothing could ever make me doubt your love for me! Or for my wife and children!” And I was conscious of a peace in my heart as I declared these things, even though it meant the realization of one of my greatest fears.

Surprising, isn't it? I have to say, it certainly surprised me! I hadn't realized just how deep a work God had done in my heart until then. And I hadn't realized just how powerfully He had, indeed, kept me from the idolatry I so feared. You see, this incredible peace was not my doing; it was the evidence of His work.

This is why neither my wife nor I see those trying days as being primarily about what we were going through. No, all that has happened is not just another chapter in the "the story of us." Rather, it is another chapter in the story of how our Great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, has been at work in our lives both for our good and for His glory. And this is something of what I wish to share with you all, although I have struggled to know just where to begin, especially since it is so difficult to try to explain what is in some ways unexplainable. For example, how can one really explain in a fully understandable way a peace that surpasses all understanding? This is the kind of peace that Paul wrote about in his epistle to the Philippians, where he said:

NKJ Philippians 4:6-7 “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

This is the peace that I have known during this time. And it cannot really be explained. It has to be experienced. And even then it really cannot be fully understood. After all, Paul says that this peace “surpasses all understanding.” I can only testify that the Lord Jesus has indeed granted us such peace, and that it has indeed guarded our hearts and minds. For example, this peace kept me from doubting – even for a second – the love of God for me (or for my wife and children). I was and am as certain as ever that “neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38-39). Of course, any believer with even a modicum of maturity in the faith knows exactly what Paul is talking about, and even if we cannot fully explain such peace – especially to those who do not know Christ – we definitely can know it and experience it. It is a peace that kept me not only from questioning God's love, but it also kept me from any anger or bitterness toward Him and from fretting over the future.

I am so glad that the Lord filled me with such faith and peace during those difficult days and hours. But I would like to share a few more of the passages He used to guide me through that time. For example, He drew my attention to a significant text in Romans that deals with trials and His purposes for them:

NKJ Romans 5:1-5 “Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; 4 and perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”

I was reminded by this passage that through Christ I can “rejoice in hope of the glory of God” (vs. 2), and I think by this Paul means that I can rejoice in the knowledge that God will manifest His glory through me and in my life. In fact, later in this same epistle Paul describes the ultimate triumph of God's work in us as our being glorified. For example:

NKJ Romans 8:15-18 “For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, 'Abba, Father.' 16 The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, 17 and if children, then heirs-- heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together. 18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.”

NKJ Romans 8:28-30 “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. 29 For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. 30 Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified.” [Italics mine.]

All things, including tribulations and suffering, are a part of God's plan to glorify us, that is, to reveal His glory in us. Although this ultimately happens in the resurrection (as the context in Romans 8 makes clear), it is happening to some degree even now, which is what I believe Paul is saying in Romans 5. I think he is trying to tell us that, as we learn to go through trials in faith, we see God being glorified in us more and more, and this gives us a foretaste of the coming glory that will be revealed in us. When Paul tells us that “we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope” in verses 3-4, the “hope” he is talking about is the “hope of the glory of God” he has mentioned in verse 2. So, the more I see God being glorified in and through me as I faithfully endure trials, the more I increase in the certainty that His promise of future glorification is, indeed, true.

This is what happened to me as I considered the possibility that my wife might die. I began to see God's work of producing patience and character in me, and it reminded me of the fact that my life – and my wife's life – are in His faithful care. He who began a good work in me – and who continues to work in me – will be faithful to complete it (Phil. 1:6)!

But this leads me to another part of the story of how the Lord shepherded me through this difficult time, and it actually began years ago. The back story – which will not be dissimilar from many of yours – took place in my early days as a believer. You see, I had come from a broken home and had suffered some significant abuse in a couple of the poor neighborhoods I had grown up in. And I also grew up believing in works salvation, which – along with these other factors – led to a constant battle with depression from the time I was a small boy. But I had no idea how bad things would get after coming to faith in Christ.

At first, I began to discover a joy I had never known, knowing that God loved me and that all my sins were forgiven through the work of Christ for me. And my joy abounded even more when God brought Kim into my life and began to take away the incredible loneliness that had plagued me for so long. However, toward the end of our first year of marriage, after having gone to Columbia Bible College, I began to experience the three worst years of depression I had ever encountered, coupled with doubting my salvation. It is hard to describe the intensity of the depression that hounded me in those days, except to say that I thought I would die. In fact, I remember getting up some days and thinking to myself, “Surely today is the day I will die of a broken heart!” I just couldn't imagine how I could keep living like this, but the Lord in His faithfulness led me through this time and to an assurance of salvation. Although He made use of many Scripture passages in the process, one of the key books He kept taking me to was Job. And it was when He enabled me to cry out as Job did that I began to experience victory over the depression that had been my almost constant companion for so long. Here are the two primary texts in Job that shaped my response to God in those days:

NKJ Job 1:20-22 “Then Job arose, tore his robe, and shaved his head; and he fell to the ground and worshiped. 21 And he said: 'Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return there. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.' 22 In all this Job did not sin nor charge God with wrong.”

I recall reading these words and making them my own prayer to God. I remember praising Him and telling Him that whatever happened I knew He intended it only for my good and that if He would be best glorified by my being miserably depressed even for the rest of my life, then so be it. I would accept whatever His gracious will was for me.

NKJ Job 13:15a "Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him."

I can remember very well the day when I cried out to God with these same words! I literally prayed, “Lord, even if you slay me – even if I die of a broken heart – yet will I trust you!” That was the beginning of the end of my battle with depression, and – to make a long story short – it was also the beginning of the end of my struggle with lack of assurance. You see, the Lord showed me through those days that there was a faith in me that I couldn't take any credit for. After all, I was doubting! So where could such faith have come from if not from Jesus, the “author and finisher” of my faith (Heb. 12:2)? It could only have come as “the gift of God” (Eph. 2:8).

Well, there have of course been many trials since then, and they have all brought to mind these passages in Job as well as others such as Romans 5:1-5. And these same passages came back to me as I went through the trial of my wife having cancer. This trial was at its most acute when I was in the waiting room while Kim was having surgery. Part way through the procedure, the surgical nurse called down to tell me that the mass was indeed cancerous, and the next hour or two were a couple of the longest of my life. I went into a little prayer room where I wept so hard I didn't think I would ever be able to stop. And the words of Job came to me again, except this time with a different emphasis. This time God wasn't asking me to say, “Though you slay me, yet will I trust You.” This time He was asking me to say, “Though you slay my wife, yet will I trust You!” And I remember as I sat there dazed, weak, and weary, crying out to God, “Yes, Lord, even if you take away my precious Kimmie, yet will I trust You!” Of course, I also pleaded with the Lord for her life, but was able to say by His grace, “Nevertheless, not my will, but Yours be done” (Matt. 26:39).

You see, God had prepared me for this trial through all of the others. He had taken me through the Romans 5:1-5 cycle many times before, and each time I had experienced more and more the “hope of the glory of God” in my life. And He had taught me to rejoice in it! And this helped me to have hope in this struggle as well.

Perhaps an illustration would help. It comes from a time when I was just a kid, about twelve years old. I went with my family to a state park in southern Indiana that had a cave that went through a hillside and came out the other side. I think it was actually an abandoned attempt at building a railroad tunnel at one time. At any rate, the tunnel was just long enough that when you were in the middle of it you were in complete darkness and could see no light coming from either end. After having gone through the tunnel a couple of times with a flashlight, I decided – I vaguely remember a dare – to try to go through the tunnel with no light at all. Well, about half way through, as I was in the darkest part of the tunnel, feeling my way along, I remember being gripped by fear and worrying that maybe I would get lost somehow and no one would ever find me. And I thought about turning back. But what kept me going is that fact that I had been through the tunnel before, and I knew that if I just pressed on there would be a light ahead. And this is the same way with trials in my life. I have been through the tunnel before – many times – and I know that there is always a light at the end! It is the “hope of the glory of God,” and it keeps me going, just as Paul said it would. Indeed, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel of every trial for the Christian, and it is the joy set before us as we see the glory of God more fully manifested in our own lives. May we ever seek this joy in Him! And may we accept the fact that it comes with suffering.

The Revised Diagnosis and Thankfulness for God's Continued Grace

And now it is time for some more good news. Not only did the Lord lovingly guide me through yet another trial. He graciously answered my prayer that Kim would live. As I have already indicated, the surgery of April 28, 2008, confirmed that she did, indeed, have ovarian cancer. As a result, she had to undergo a complete hysterectomy, along with the removal of her omentum, appendix, and a number of lymph nodes. But the surgeon discovered that the cancer wasn't nearly as bad as he had thought it would be. You see, the fluid that had been in Kim's abdomen, which the doctor had assumed was due to the cancer and that it had thus spread and was at a later stage, had actually been due to the diverticulitis that had already been treated by that time. So, when he performed the surgery the excess fluid was not there. As it turns out, the cancer had been caught very early because of the diverticulitis. Otherwise we would almost certainly not have found out about the ovarian cancer until it was too late, as happens to so many poor women and accounts in part for the high death rate associated with this type of cancer.

So, Kim has now been through six cycles of chemotherapy, and the prognosis is quite good. We have good reason to believe that she will make a full recovery, although, of course, we can never be absolutely sure. But, then, who can? I just know this much; I know that God is first in my life. I know that He has done a far greater work of faith in me than I had realized. I know that Kim and I, and our three children, are closer to the Lord than ever. I know that our church family needed to see us go through this and to see His work in us. And I know that whatever else happens He will keep us to the end as He has promised. But it is through trials such as those I have described that such assurance is deepened in us and such rejoicing in the “hope of the glory of God” can be had. Do you want to better know Him and make Him known? Do you want to be able to see the evidence of His working of faith in you? If so, be ready to welcome the testing of your faith with the knowledge that it is always for your good and for His glory.